Breaking Free from Shame: Rewriting Your Alcohol Story
May 23, 2025
Is a sense of unworthiness and shame keeping you stuck?
Unlike guilt, which arises from regretting specific actions, shame is deeper - it attacks self-worth and convinces people they are unworthy of change. Many struggling drinkers feel undeserving of a better life, believing they are defined by their past mistakes. This self-perception creates a cycle of avoidance and relapse, making recovery feel out of reach.
Reframing Self-Worth
Breaking free from shame requires a conscious shift in self-talk. Negative beliefs about oneself must be actively challenged and replaced with affirming, compassionate narratives. This is not an easy process, but perseverance in practicing positive self-talk can gradually dismantle years of internalised shame. Transformation begins with seeing oneself as worthy of change.
The Power of Community
Supportive communities help individuals separate their identity from their addiction, fostering self-acceptance. By sharing experiences with those who understand the struggle, people can release self-judgment and embrace mutual growth.
Practical Steps for Change
Here are 4 practical strategies for shifting one’s mindset and overcoming shame:
- Start from where you are – Recovery isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about taking the first step.
- Seek supportive connections – Whether through formal recovery groups, close friends, or online communities, finding a judgment-free space is essential. (My coaching community Unstuck! provides a safe, supportive space of like-minded people sharing their journeys. Here you'll find solidarity, understanding, and the relief of knowing you're not alone.)
- Reframe the narrative – Instead of seeing sobriety as deprivation, recognise it as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal freedom.
- Engage in service – Helping others in recovery is a powerful way to combat negative, ego-driven thoughts and stay grounded.
You Are Not Defined by Your Addiction
One of the most impactful takeaways from this episode of the Big Drink Rethink with my guest Chris Janssen, Performance and Mindset Coach, is the importance of separating addiction from identity. Many people struggling with alcohol view themselves as fundamentally flawed, but Chris challenges this notion. Addiction is something a person experiences - not who they are. By shifting this perspective, individuals can embrace self-worth and move toward a future free from shame.
Final Thoughts
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Take a moment to examine the stories you may be telling yourself about alcohol, shame, and self-worth.
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By making small but meaningful changes in mindset and community support, lasting transformation is possible.
If you’ve ever felt trapped by shame or unworthy of a better life, this conversation offers a powerful message: You are enough. You deserve healing. And you can rewrite your story. Listen to the full episode with Chris Janssen here.
My coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps break the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. If you’d like to find out more you can book a no-obligation 30 minute call here to discuss.
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Connect with Chris Janssen:
- Website: https://www.chrisjanssencoaching.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chris3janssen
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisjanssencoaching/
Click here to purchase Chris’s book "Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want”
